mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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