I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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