And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
