I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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