Apparently you make a good broom.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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