Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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