It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
