I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
