If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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