so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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