You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
