I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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