I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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