In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
