Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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