Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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