Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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