Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize