did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
