Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
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We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
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Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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