Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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