is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
