the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
