apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I can feel your judgement through the phone
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
