the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
