cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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