Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize