Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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