The best revenge is premature balding
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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