just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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