We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
