is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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