Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
