We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
