I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
