I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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