I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
