if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
