Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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