I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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