halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
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