While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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