so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize