Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?