it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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