I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
