I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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