she looked like the bat from fern gully.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
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