I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
