he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
