Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Your tits are I can't wait for
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
