It's like God shit irony all over that family
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well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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