why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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