haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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