Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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