I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
