never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
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